Don’t Feed The Egos
(Death Cab For Cutie – Title and Registration)

Here’s an idea I had the other day...

How cool would it be if I could get all my ex’s into one wrestling ring and have them square off in a royal rumble? One by one they’d throw each other out of the ring and the last person standing in the ring would get to face my current gf Sonia in a title match. If by some odd chance, my ex was winning, I could jump in the ring with a chair and hit her over the head while the referee was distracted. This would allow Sonia to easily pin her and retain the title!

Of course this is a ridiculous idea because I’m pretty sure I’d have a hard time getting any of my ex’s to fight over me.

Here’s a better idea. They could hang me over the ring and the winner of the battle royal would get a ladder and a stick so they could beat me like a piñata. Of course, Sonia would come jumping in the ring last minute, with a chair in hand, to knock them flat on their ass before they got any swings at me.
...

You know how at the zoo they have signs that say "Don’t Feed the Animals"? I think some offices should have signs that say "Don’t Feed the Egos". There are a lot of proud people at work who think they’re too qualified/dignified or whatever, to do work that’s not within their job description. Here’s some anti-inflammatory drugs for that ego of yours -- take one for the team, bitch!